Wednesday, August 12, 2009

No such thing as "failing" at HypnoBirthing

I have spoken to a few doulas who attended some of my former class members' births as well as some moms after their births & I am hearing that some moms feel like they didn't "do it right" or somehow "failed at HypnoBirthing" because they had to make noise during their births.

PLEASE Moms!!!! Remember that I said that it is totally OKAY to make noise during your birth! You may have the ideal birth experience in your head where you are calm & silent, but sometimes you NEED to make noise & that's okay!

If you are noisy during sex, chances are you are going to be noisy during birth.
Sometimes, even when you're not noisy during sex, you'll need to make noise during birth because the power of the sensations. Not necessarily from discomfort or pain but just because there is a lot going on in your body & sometimes you just need to make some noise to help release it & help yourself relax.

My other point is that pain-free doesn't mean that you won't feel will still feel some sort of sensation to some degree. Some moms feel little to no sensation & some moms feel more sensation to the point of feeling uncomfortable but not painful. Both are again, totally okay!
So, know that you will feel something during your birth & that you may need to make some noise. The videos we watched during class don't show the moms making much noise at all, but that doesn't mean it's not part of the norm of natural birth or HypnoBirthing.

PLEASE remember this! There is no "fail" when it comes to HypnoBirthing...whether you made more noise than you thought you would, you felt more sensation/discomfort than you thought you would, that you needed medication like an epidural or that you needed a c-section. You still had a HypnoBirth because you used the techniques to the best of your ability. Sometimes births take a different route than you plan. That doesn't mean you failed, it just means your birth went differently than you planned. You probably were able to stay much calmer than you would have without having your HypnoBirthing techniques, which means you got farther in your labor without medications than you would have with HypnoBirthing classes.

Know that you did the best you could & sometimes your baby & your birth still takes a different route and that you should be proud of the fact that you went into your birth as an informed, educated, empowered parent. You made educated decisions along the way due to the information you learned in your classes. That's an important thing to remember.

I hope that any of you who may think that you failed in someway are able to reframe your thinking & see that you still were able to have a wonderful HypnoBirth no matter how it turned out. It's totally normal to be sad or disappointed that your birth didn't turn out exactly like you envisioned. I don't want to discount anyone's valid feelings about their birth experience.

I really work to stress in my classes that you do need to visualize your birth exactly as you want it as much as possible to give your body & brain the picture of what it needs to do for your birth. AND I also stress that you need to be flexible with the fact that things may go a little (or a lot) astray but that you still have the tools to do the most important things--relax your mind & body, stay calm, & make educated decisions.

For those moms-to-be, please remember all of this so when & if during your birth, you are thinking that you're not having the birth you planned or that you're somehow failing, you can remember this & get your thinking back to where it needs to be focused--your breathing, relaxation & visualization techniques.

All my best--Carol


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