Julie & Robbie's birth experience

Here is the birth story of one of my HypnoBirthing class members. Their birth didn't happen exactly as she wanted...she wanted an orgasmic birth, but she was able to use her HypnoBirthing techniques along with the support of her doula to have the outcome she wanted, which was a natural birth.

Johnny's birth:
Owning a personal chef service/catering company (www.Dining-Details.com), I didn't get much downtime leading up to my due date. December is our busiest month of the year, and December 2008 was no exception. Johnny was due on the 26th, and I hoped he wouldn't come until after Christmas, just so we could get through the busy season. I had told myself I wouldn't work after Thanksgiving, but although I took it easier and easier, more due to my physical limitations than anything, I still worked several parties a week, cooking, serving, coordinating, and on and on. I was on my feet non-stop!

One particular client had booked her party on the 11th, and was intent on me being there with my staff- I ASSURED her I would be there... after all, I was not due for 2 more weeks, had not had any contractions, and was still tiny- I looked 6 months pregnant at full term; everyone swore I had weeks yet to go. The day of the party I started feeling like something was different... I continued diligently running errands, shopping, preparing as usual for the big 115 person gala in an RSF Estate. However, I hired on an extra server last minute, explaining to her if I had to serve I might go into labor. All night, I kept needing to sit down. I delegated more than ever, asking my servers to pick things up for me, bring me things from across the kitchen... not my style at all. I chowed down on 2 plates in a row of Macaroni and Cheese... also not my style, but perhaps my body knew I better Carb-load for the marathon that awaited me! The staff was laughing, joking that that was the night. My husband Robbie kept talking to my belly, saying, "John, I cant wait to see you. But PLEASE PLEASE don't come quite yet!! I am so tired, I need a good night sleep after this 16 hour day! Just wait a bit longer!"
Robbie and I got home about 10:30- he went out to unpack the van with our other chef, I headed straight upstairs to change into some sweats. As I took off my jeans next to my dresser, and WHOOOSH!!!! My water came gushing out into a huge puddle on the floor. All systems firing, I grabbed my robe and ran down the stairs, dripping water the whole way. "Robbie!!!" I yelled out the front door... no answer. "ROBBIE!!!" No answer. Still dribbling water down the walkway, I rounded the corner and yelled "Robbie!!! My water broke!" Freshly popped beer in hand, his eyes got as wide as saucers. He actually said "Are you sure!?" Duh.
Well, we went into action! We had 3 more parties scheduled that weekend, so I got to emailing the staff, coordinating schedules and delegating duties. After that, I got my bag packed, as I had barely gotten my things together, thrown haphazardly into the bassinet for storage. I really didn't think this would come so soon!
We tried to relax. Right. We tried to sleep. Not happening. I listened to my ipod HypnoBirthing cd over and over and over. The hours flew by- suddenly it was 2 in the morning, 3 in the morning. We were monitoring contractions on Robbies iphone- of course.... "there's an AP for THAT!" Well, sure enough they were evenly spaced out in the time that we had been instructed to count to. We contacted the doula, Connie Merritt, and decided to head to the hospital- which is just 2 exits away.
It cracks me up now to think about it... I really thought I was in true labor when we went to the hospital! The nurses treated me very casually and said I would probably be sent home. I tried telling them that I was actually just very calm because of the hypnosis. As I look back, the "labor pains" were nothing more than mediocre period cramps. How could I have thought THAT was labor?! We stayed 2 hours, got monitored, walked around, slept a little. They sent me home. I texted my acupuncurist on the way home.
We got home and slept an hour. I woke up to my acupuncurist ringing the doorbell at 7 am, ready to get the labor pains on! She gave me a treatment, and sure enough, they got stronger. It was about 9 or 10 when Connie came over (we had called her about 3 times in the night- she was so patient with us, she was an angel!)
For several hours we went through first stages of labor- we walked outside, we hung out in the nursery, in my room, on the ball- its all a bit hazy now. I think we headed to the hospital around noon- I could be wrong. I was admitted right away.
In a nutshell, I listened to my ipod from the time my water broke to the time my babe was born. I labored another 7-8 hours in the hospital, listening all the time. I spent a lot of time on my knees, and a lot of time on the ball in the shower. I just remember it hurting a lot more than I could have imagined... and although I remained calm with the hypnosis, I definitely was not experiencing a pain-free labor. I think the biggest thing going against us was the exhaustion. Having worked a full 16 hour day the day before, and barely slept more than an hour or two, and going into a 20 hour labor... we were beyond exhausted. By late afternoon, my coping ability was dwindling.
I have to say, the only thing that got me through that long of a labor without drugs was the belief that I was "almost there." I had written a very clear birth plan, which I must say was followed to the T by the Scripps Encinitas staff, and so I was monitored once in a while, but the monitors did not stay on me long throughout labor. I was never given a vaginal exam, so I had no idea how much I was dilated. That was my saving grace. I just kept thinking... I MUST be close to 10! Finally at 5 pm I was talking about epidurals. I remember sitting in the shower, moaning, crying, trying to remind myself that I was more scared of epidural than no epidural. The pain was all in my back- it was unbearable. I just kept thinking that the epidural would be worse for my back and that the pain of labor would soon be over. My husband, also exhausted, supported me the whole time, reminding me constantly of my commitment to do it naturally.
Finally we agreed that the nurse should call Dr. Biter. I was ready for my exam- if I wasn't close, I was going to buckle. After the exam, I threw up all over the bed. I mean all OVER! Dr. Biter said that was great- I was at 7, and would progress very quickly after that. I went from 7-10 in an hour... a very very painful hour. (Sorry, Carol, I know that word wasn't supposed to be in my vocabulary!) Dr. Biter also told me that if he thought drugs would be better for me, he would let me go that route... but he felt that I had gotten this far-I could do it! He was super supportive of me continuing with what I had set out to do.
Another hour of pushing. Hard, crying, screaming, purple pushing. Pushing on my knees. Pushing on my side with one leg up and one leg pushing against the doctor. Pushing on the squat bar. Pushing back on my knees again. Me crying "he's not coming out!" and then whispering "Please! Johnny!! Please come out to me!" Dr. Biter reminded me... they always eventually come out.
Apparently my birth was hard. Connie and Dr. Biter both admitted later that it was indeed a dramatic labor. I wasn't built with birthing hips... my tiny little pelvis made for a bit of an obstacle course for little Johny to maneuver through. He kept getting stuck. My labor pain was almost entirely in my back. I kept trying to breathe through the "sensation" but instead ended up yelling "my back my back my back!" It was some seriously intense pressure, that sensation!!!He did finally come out as I was on my knees. Robbie caught him, and passed him through my legs to me. He was so slippery I was scared I would drop him. I looked at him, and he was exactly what I had dreamed of- I recognized him immediately. I cried and hugged him and said "We did it! We did it!!!"
One thing I can say is Thank God for perenial massage. Johnny did finally come out (there is a lot more drama I could get into describing that last hour, but I will spare you more details) without any tears or cutting. I attribute that to my speedy recovery. My body bounced back literally in a day.
What made me choose HypnoBirthing? I had met Jennifer Lindeman, another practitioner, years ago, and was intrigued by the thought of it. I have always been a person to think outside the box- rather than just go along with the status quo. I question things, and investigate alternative options... especially if it means something the "harder" way... I have never been one to take the short cut. I did go through a period between being interested and being committed to HypnoBirthing, in which I joked around that I would be walking in backward to get my epidural. When the baby was actually kicking inside me, another instinct set forth... the instinct to research pros and cons of epidurals and hypnobirthing. I googled and googled. I was looking mostly for horror stories of HypnoBirthing. All I found were horror stories of epidurals. I honestly couldn't find a single negative experience online about HynoBirthing. The more I researched side effects and effects on baby, I became more frightened of the epidural than of labor pain. The decision to go through with the HypnoBirthing didn't take much- it was more instinctual and characteristic of me than not to do something alternative and holistic. What I learned through hypnobirthing was more than how to relax during labor; I was completely empowered to make decisions on my own and my baby's behalf, since I understood what to expect, what to decline, and what to be wary of. Birthing is complicated... though most people>seem to approach it with a lot less investigation or question. Regardless of whether I had actually gone through with the natural birth after all was said and done, I still would have felt better knowing what I knew, being empowered and educated, and getting as far as I physically could on my own. It would not have been failure to give into the "help"- I would have still been better off than having never learned and practiced HypnoBirthing. The breathing and the relaxation meditation did work for me. I practiced it a lot leading up to labor, just by listening to my ipod each night. At one point, probably at about hour 15, I had my blood taken. I had my head slumped in Robbie's lap as I breathed through the draw. I heard the nurse, as though in a dream, say something about never having seen someone so relaxed at that point. That made me feel great! I didn't even realize how relaxed I was because I was so "in my zone." I literally listened to that meditation for 20 straight hours. (We put it on the speakers during my times in the shower). Even though the last couple hours were not perfect HypnoBirthing, the meditation was the key to my success.
One of the best things that came out of the experience was Carol's recommendation to hire a doula. Because of our uncertainty with our due date falling so close to our busy catering season, she recommended we have someone to help us just in case Robbie couldn't be there right away. Good call!!! Turned out that having Connie was best for both me AND Robbie. She aided me through labor, but more importantly gave Robbie cues and reminders to help him aid me through labor. She made suggestions about positioning, eating, drinking, showering...whatever, them let Robbie take the lead in facilitating. When Robbie needed a break (labor is exhausting for Dad too!) she was there to take over supporting me. One of the other great things was that she took lots of photos for us of the birth! Robbie could catch Johnny as he came out, and focus on me and baby, not be behind the camara! In a nutshell, having a doula didn't take away from Robbie's role- it added to it by helping him be the best supporter and cheerleader through the whole experience. She was invaluable.
Johnny came way before we expected him... I mean I found out I was pregnant when we were engaged to be married. We wanted kids, but didn't know we would be blessed with that quite so soon. We had rearranged our wedding plans and lives to prepare for Johnny. He fought all odds, and grew in a body wrought with 15 years worth of birth control pills. This little guy was DESTINED to come to us. He decided to come 2 weeks early, in the midst of holiday catering season. And then, he took his time coming out to meet us. The 11th was a regular day... the 12th, 12-12, was a full moon night, a stormy, cloud covered night. He graced us with his presence as the clouds parted in the sky and the full moon shone into our hospital room. He was a soul who knew when he wanted to come from the beginning.
Johnny has proven to be a baby who knows ehat he wants, communicates well, and loves A LOT. He has demanded from us a higher level of parenting with his extreme 4 months of colic, reflux, gas, and under developed nervous system. I changed my diet. we tried an arsenal of homeopathic and pharmeceutical remedies. We counted down the days to 3 months. Nothing changed. Here we are at 4 and a half month, and he has become the dream baby. He is full of smiles and cuddles, and has transformed into a happy, healthy, FUN bundle of joy. He still tells us exactly what he wants... but now that we "get" him, we are getting along just fine.
Natural birth was not what I had expected. I had wanted the "Orgasmic" birth! Mine was quite the opposite. BUT, with that said, I wouldn't change a thing, and I certainly will aim for another natural birth with my next child. He is SOOOOOO worth it!
Thank you to Carol Yeh-Garner, Dr. Biter, Connie Merritt, and the team that helped my husband and I birth our baby boy in a beautiful, natural way. I cannot imagine going about birth any differently.

Congratulations Julie & Robbie! Thanks for sharing your birth story!

www.AWellLivedLife.Net
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What birth should look like

Orgasmic birth...sounds crazy, doesn't it? Well, the reality is, if you're relaxed during birth instead of tense & fearful, your body can really enjoy birth! Sometimes even have an orgasm!

20/20 recently highlighted the documentary, Orgasmic Birth, on their show about extreme mothering. Here is the link to the clip: http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=6569030
I think every pregnant woman...heck...every woman & teenaged girl...should watch this video! If more women saw that birth could be like this, they might experience birth in a more peaceful way, which in turn means a more peaceful journey for that little baby. This isn't just for hippie, granola, tree-hugger types...this is what every woman needs to see! Women need to regain trust in their body & the birthing process instead of handing it over to someone else. Women need to question why the c-section rate is so high in the U.S. when we're supposed to be the most "advanced"...birth has become highly medicalized here in the U.S. & it's become quite a money-making industry. When the reality is, birth is a natural process & if left alone, can happen quite naturally & normally without all the interventions that most people think are "necessary".

The woman that is interviewed at the end uses hypnosis (probably HypnoBirthing or another hypnosis for childbirth education class) to teach her how to get her body to remain calm & also to release any fears she has. I love that HypnoBirthing teaches women the physiological process of birth & why it doesn't necessarily have to be a horribly painful experience. It teaches techniques to use during birth not to mask the pain, but to relax the body so the body can birth the baby without the interference of tense muscles, which is what causes the pain. It also helps them learn how to release their conscious & unconscious fears about birth & becoming a parent. All of these things help prepare her (& her partner) to go into the birthing experience more prepared & in control. This leads to calmer moms & calmer babies. Go to www.HypnoBirthing.com for more information &/or to find a practitioner near you. If you're in the San Diego area, contact me to find out about my classes.

So, I encourage people to share this link with their girlfriends, spouses, family members, daughters, etc. so more people can be exposed to the fact that if a woman's body remains calm & relaxed instead of tense, birth can really be more than just manageable, it can be a beautiful, enjoyable experience!

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A Beautiful HypnoBirthing Story

Here is a story that was shared by another HypnoBirthing practitioner. Enjoy!

Here is a birth story from one of my mothers. She has posted it to Orgasmic Birth (www.orgasmicbirth.com) and Rikki Lake's site...it is so well written and a beautiful description of the work that we all do...enjoy! Pauline Nardella, HypnoBirthing Practitioner

We Follow Nature

Eli´s birth story doesn´t begin with my water breaking. It really begins with the support of the childbirth educators who empowered me and offered the revelation that there are birthing options. Without them, I would have continued to believe in the limits of prenatal care (dipping a stick in my urine, checking my weight and warning me of the various fetal maladies by another OB in my five minute checkup.) In this system, I understood that labor can only take place in a hospital with interventions and that giving birth is a medical event. We are reminded that women can "fail to progress" and labors become "unpromising" and necessitate drugs and major surgery. And worst of all, despite the battery of tests, we are reminded that the baby can go into "fetal distress"for any unforeseen reason that no amount of prenatal care can prepare for or prevent. In this system, pregnancy is a congratulated precarious condition.

As is true of life, situations arise and bridges must be crossed. But we all know not to focus on the "what ifs", so why is pregnancy the exception? The truth is that there are things one can do to prepare both physically and emotionally. And there are things one can do to ensure the best possible outcome for mother and baby. Pregnant women are not passive victims to their bodies. I learned these things from women like Pauline Nardella, HypnoBirthing Childbirth Educator, Anne Margolis, Certified Nurse Midwife and the filmmakers Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein, who made "The Business of Being Born".

For every woman there are specifics that stand out in their prenatal care. I did not have to be subjected to constant pelvic exams, since most of the time, there was no medical need for it. When my midwife had to determine if the baby was head down she respectfully offered me options: a pelvic examorsonogram. Until that point, I had always been told to undress from the waist down. Never asked. Never aware I had choices.

I also learned that women are suggestive when pregnant. This is not because we are suffering from "pregnancy brain" or any other one of those derogatory descriptions of a woman expecting. We are suggestive in this condition by nature because it assists in the birthing process. A pregnant woman can be told she can bond with her unborn baby and therefore she can. A pregnant woman can be told that the contractions are surges, or simply a tight feeling and therefore they are endurable or even pain free. Being suggestive is critical to the birthing process and being exposed to fear in a suggestive state puts women on a dangerous path toward labor. This is why numbing drugs are so critical in an optionless system, not just to medicate the pain, but to numb a women´s fear and even the fear of fear.

My homebirth midwife asked me questions about my pregnancy. She asked questions about my life situation and my concerns. She let me speak and she listened. I was an active participant in the prenatal check-ups to determine the well-being of my baby. She did not overwhelm me, and with each visit she provided simple handouts of things to do or assist me in my pregnancy. I did not feel pressure to do everything (like walk a mile a day, drink a gallon of raspberry leaf tea and do 1000 kegel muscle exercises while sitting in traffic) but to do what I could and even without doing anything at all, my body knows what to do. Women do not "fail" to give birth. This truth was reaffirmed in my Hypnobirthing class. My body and my baby know what to do. We follow nature.

Despite this, the moment my water broke, I felt fear. "I am not ready", I thought. At nearly 42 weeks I should have felt ready. But I still could not let my thoughts go. Did I practice enough with the tapes? Do I have the stamina? Am I going to fail to progress like I did in the hospital with my daughter? Can I take the pain without meds? The first contraction was powerful. It took me by surprise. This is where my prenatal care began to demonstrate its effect on me. Instead of thinking "OW!" I thought "WOW! My body is strong." Holding on to that thought, I went from contractions every 10 minutes to every 5 in less than an hour.

Apparently positive thinking and relaxation does have an effect on the cervix. The "proof" was now in action. I actually did not plan in advance the positive affirmations I would use, but once in labor, I no longer referred to them as contractions but as waves because they were not isolated to my uterus. I felt them from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I called my midwife to let her know the contractions were coming strong and quickly.

My husband ran around preparing the bath and trying to figure out why the heat wasn´t working that cold February night. My 2-year-old woke up looking for me. "The baby is coming?" If someone told me she was going to wake up and pine for me before our babysitter arrived, mid-transition it would have scared me. I cuddled with her and tried to put her back to bed as my husband stopped between errands to hold my hand. My midwife had the wisdom that I should prepare and inform my daughter with videos and a homebirth children´s book. She was a little afraid but more excited mostly because I was not afraid. I did not know I had the strength to care for my daughter and my labor at the same time.

At my first birth my husband could not be out of my reach for two seconds. I needed his strength to get through the 20 hours of pain. Without any rubs this time, I made it one wave at a time. I realized that the waves only lasted for about one minute or so and at this point the endorphins kicked in and the calm between lasted for three or more. It felt utterly divine so I focused on this. Since I was so suggestive, all I had to do from my practice was say the word "relax" and I was completely weightless, and floating. I did not mind the contractions as much simply because the strength of them and my thoughts were instigating this blissful relaxation.

My midwife had not yet arrived as my cervix reached 10 cm, and my husband and neighbor had just completed filling the tub. I went back into my head since I did not expect to be in the bath alone and I got scared. My Midwife and Doula arrived just before I felt the need to push. I let her know I was scared and she asked me of what. And I said of being alone. My husband was with me at that point, the babysitter arrived and so did my caretakers. She only needed to say "You are not alone" and I was not alone. In the warmth of the tub, my husband was holding me, sharing our strength to birth our son. In the timelessness of following nature, I remember my midwife´s words as I fell into what seemed like a trance. She said, "Go with your body", after I announced the urge to push. And I did. She said, "Open your pelvis and let the baby through." And I did. She said, "Push past the burning ring." And I did!

My son was nearly 10 pounds. We brought him into this world without fear, and after only three hours of labor and 15 minutes of pushing, he arrived into our arms with a feeling of love that cannot be described. Perhaps it was the Oxytocin I heard so much about. Still, the experience was life changing. It gave me strength through the turbulent changes of the first weeks of post-partum and a feeling of empowerment that I can carry with me through life.This story of trust, birth and love has bonded us immediately as a family and I have no doubt this birth story will continue to shape our lives.
Ruthie

Pauline Nardella
www.BirthingWisdom.com

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Orgasmic Birth?

This looks like an amazing film. I can't wait to see it! It goes so in line with HypnoBirthing. For those HypnoBirthing mommies out there, just "cancel, cancel" when the trailer mentions pain a few times. I totally agree that women can have orgasmic births. My 2nd birth was so enjoyable (although not orgasmic...darn!), I really wish I could birth more babies. Not be pregnant & not be a mommy to a newborn again, but just birth again!

Enjoy the trailer!

What would happen if women were taught to enjoy birth rather than endure it?
In answering that question, Orgasmic Birth poses the ultimate challenge to our cultural myths.
Filmmaker Debra Pascali-Bonaro reveals a revolutionary approach to birth that is statistically safer and healthier for both mother and child than the birthing and delivery methods that are standard in many parts of the world today.
The viewer becomes an intimate part of the birth stories of 11 women who said YES to this journey. Each is shown laboring undisturbed in a free, sensuous, joyous moment.
With commentary by Dr. Christiane Northrup, Ina May Gaskin, and other experts in the field and stunning moments of women in the ecstatic release of childbirth.

Learn more at: http://orgasmicbirth.com/

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