This is a HypnoBirthing birth story from the Heather Hilton, a HypnoBirthing practitioner & homebirth midwife in Austin, TX.
Hi Friends,
I stood witness at the most amazing birth this morning (12/11/09). Mom took HypnoBirthing from me (and Liz) and I was her midwife. She was totally committed to a natural, peaceful, home birth. Her due date came and went...and went....and went. According to her last period she was 43 weeks on Tuesday (although when it was all said and done, baby looked more like 41 weeks).
Labor started slowly on Wednesday morning. By Wed. evening she was in active labor. She labored all Wednesday night, all day Thursday, making tiny signs of progress along the way. Labor continued into Thursday night, and mom was totally relaxed and calm. She had to be upright during her surges, and spent most of them either standing or sitting on the edge of her bed. She would drop her head and just breathe and you could see her entire body melting down into the sensation of her surges (contractions).
A visualization that came when I was talking her through one of her surges was a golden light flowing flowing into the top of mom's head, through her body, down through her baby, out the top of his head and out through her birth path. We focused on her allowing her breath to follow the path of that golden flow of energy and it seemed to really work for her. In fact, I was shocked when I checked her and found her to be almost 9 cm because by the looks of it I thought we were not progressing at all. When I asked mom about it later she said that she was also shocked because she said she felt the most relaxed and like it had not gotten more intense at all leading to that point.
Her membranes released naturally in the early morning and shortly after that she climbed into the birth tub. Again, I thought things had stopped. She was draped over the tub and her back was to me and she was totally silent. Then after about an hour, she turned around and said "this is really intense now." After that, she was pretty much silent the whole time. She was so totally inside herself.
She allowed her body to push all by itself and kept me updated about how low her baby was. Dad sat in the tub behind her, applying pressure to her back and patiently waiting. At one point, she asked if the burning feeling was ok, and I explained that it was just the stretch of healthy tissue and to allow it to stretch and open. She did.
Baby was born into daddy's hands in the water. It was so incredible. As soon as the baby heard his parents voices, his eyes popped open!! He was totally calm and alert, just looking around and taking it all in. NINE pounds three ounces!! 22 inches. No tearing! First baby. So so so so amazing. I had to share!
Blessings, Heather Hilton
www.hypnobirthingtexas.com
Congratulations to this family! Thanks, Heather, for sharing this inspiring story!
www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
Showing posts with label painfree birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label painfree birth. Show all posts
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
A HypnoBirthing story with Dr. Wonderful
This HypnoBirthing story is from one of my class members that took classes in April 2009. They had Dr. Wonderful (otherwise known as Dr. Biter) as their OB.
Hi Carol,
At last a few free moments to share our baby's birth story with you!
We had an amazing birth from start to finish. In my 38th week of pregnancy, I'd started to feel some practice labor surges in the evening. They would last a couple hours and then stop as I drifted to sleep. This gave me an indication that labor might be nearing.
At around 12am on June 10th, they started again. I tried to sleep through these like the last ones but found myself having change positions and get in and out of bed to manage my way through them. I was so intent on making it to 40 weeks of pregnancy (only 39 weeks at this point) that I couldn't believe this was really the real thing. Pregnancy had been so much fun that I didn't want it to end any sooner than it had to. So after about 2 hours of breathing my way through these surges, I finally woke up Nathan. He started timing them and we saw that we had a pretty consistent pattern of surges every three minutes and lasting thirty seconds long. I was puttering around our apartment in the wee hours of the morning telling Nathan, "There is NO WAY I'm having this baby tonight!". He just smiled and kept timing them. Pretty soon they were lasting 45 seconds and then were over a minute long. I was breathing my way through each surge, leaning on Nathan for physical support, and visualizing my cervix opening.
At about 5 am, the on-call doctor (Dr. Capetanakies) told us it was time to come to hospital. Well, he'd suggested that we come in sooner than that but I was hesitant because our plan was to labor at home for as long as possible. After only 5 hours of labor, I surely couldn't be very dilated. My fear was that I'd only be 2 cm dilated and then would have to drive home. We arrived at the hospital and got situated in our L&D room. A nurse did a dilation check and said, "8 cm, membranes bulging!". I could hardly believe what I'd heard. The other hospital staff turned their heads quickly. "This is your first baby?" "You walked yourself to this room at 8 cm?" After that, they got moving pretty quickly and started bringing in a bassinet and other items for the baby. We labored through some stronger surges for 3 more hours.
I didn't have an IV or other medications so I was able to move around exactly how I needed to. I spent a lot of time rocking through surges on the birth ball, walking in circles, or leaning on Nathan. Nathan made sure I stayed hydrated and reminded me to drink the Gatorade we'd brought. He also read me the flash cards that we'd made together that had inspiring excerpts from other birth stories, comforting Bible verses, and other positive messages. The flash cards were really helpful because they reminded me why a natural birth was so important to us in the first place, and helped me to not get overwhelmed with the intensity of labor.
Around 8 am, I started to feel some downward pressure. I gave in at the end of it and let myself do a small push. That was pretty intense. I told Nathan what I was feeling and he immediately paged the nurse. I leaned on the bed and had another surge. This time I heard an audible burst and felt water running down. Dr. Biter and the nurse were in the room asking me which position I wanted to be into deliver. I had no idea. They asked me to get on the bed and I hobbled onto it on all fours. It wasn't the most comfortable position to be in, but it was the fastest way to complete that request. Dr. Biter asked me to give a few pushes. The surges had tapered off now that I was fully dilated. It was so nice to get a break from them. I wanted to just put my head on the pillow and go to sleep. But I pushed a little bit. Dr. Biter asked if I wanted to flip around and try some on my back in a half sitting position. I was glad for his direction because I had no inclination of what was a better position to be in.
After about 20 minutes of pushing, I heard Nathan say "Oh wow!". The baby's head was out and its size surprised him. Then Dr. Biter asked me to look down and come get my baby. The baby was out of me as far as the waist. This was such a surreal moment. There was a baby half way in, half way out of my body. I reached down and grasped its shoulders and lifted it out the rest of the way and onto my tummy. All I could say was, "Oh my gosh! It's a lil person!" over and over again. Nathan and I both stared just amazed at our baby and all that had happened. I was so relieved. We'd done it together without medication or intervention.
After a few minutes, Dr. Biter said, "Hey let's find out if we have a boy or girl!" We looked beneath the blanket and discovered we'd had a perfect baby girl. The name we'd picked out if we had a girl suited her just right, Helena Abigail. She was born at 8:33 am, weighed 7 lbs 15 ounces, and measured 20 inches long. And no perineal tears for momma (yay!). We're so blessed to have her as well as the care we received from Dr. Biter and his team. Her birth was more incredible than we ever expected. And now we have a little girl we just can't stop kissing from head to toe.
Thank you so much for being a part of our pregnancy journey. I hope many more mothers and fathers will consider birthing their little ones naturally. It was just beyond wonderful for us.
Many thanks, Kelly F
Thanks for sharing your birth story, Kelly! Congratulations & enjoy your babymoon!
www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
Hi Carol,
At last a few free moments to share our baby's birth story with you!
We had an amazing birth from start to finish. In my 38th week of pregnancy, I'd started to feel some practice labor surges in the evening. They would last a couple hours and then stop as I drifted to sleep. This gave me an indication that labor might be nearing.
At around 12am on June 10th, they started again. I tried to sleep through these like the last ones but found myself having change positions and get in and out of bed to manage my way through them. I was so intent on making it to 40 weeks of pregnancy (only 39 weeks at this point) that I couldn't believe this was really the real thing. Pregnancy had been so much fun that I didn't want it to end any sooner than it had to. So after about 2 hours of breathing my way through these surges, I finally woke up Nathan. He started timing them and we saw that we had a pretty consistent pattern of surges every three minutes and lasting thirty seconds long. I was puttering around our apartment in the wee hours of the morning telling Nathan, "There is NO WAY I'm having this baby tonight!". He just smiled and kept timing them. Pretty soon they were lasting 45 seconds and then were over a minute long. I was breathing my way through each surge, leaning on Nathan for physical support, and visualizing my cervix opening.
At about 5 am, the on-call doctor (Dr. Capetanakies) told us it was time to come to hospital. Well, he'd suggested that we come in sooner than that but I was hesitant because our plan was to labor at home for as long as possible. After only 5 hours of labor, I surely couldn't be very dilated. My fear was that I'd only be 2 cm dilated and then would have to drive home. We arrived at the hospital and got situated in our L&D room. A nurse did a dilation check and said, "8 cm, membranes bulging!". I could hardly believe what I'd heard. The other hospital staff turned their heads quickly. "This is your first baby?" "You walked yourself to this room at 8 cm?" After that, they got moving pretty quickly and started bringing in a bassinet and other items for the baby. We labored through some stronger surges for 3 more hours.
I didn't have an IV or other medications so I was able to move around exactly how I needed to. I spent a lot of time rocking through surges on the birth ball, walking in circles, or leaning on Nathan. Nathan made sure I stayed hydrated and reminded me to drink the Gatorade we'd brought. He also read me the flash cards that we'd made together that had inspiring excerpts from other birth stories, comforting Bible verses, and other positive messages. The flash cards were really helpful because they reminded me why a natural birth was so important to us in the first place, and helped me to not get overwhelmed with the intensity of labor.
Around 8 am, I started to feel some downward pressure. I gave in at the end of it and let myself do a small push. That was pretty intense. I told Nathan what I was feeling and he immediately paged the nurse. I leaned on the bed and had another surge. This time I heard an audible burst and felt water running down. Dr. Biter and the nurse were in the room asking me which position I wanted to be into deliver. I had no idea. They asked me to get on the bed and I hobbled onto it on all fours. It wasn't the most comfortable position to be in, but it was the fastest way to complete that request. Dr. Biter asked me to give a few pushes. The surges had tapered off now that I was fully dilated. It was so nice to get a break from them. I wanted to just put my head on the pillow and go to sleep. But I pushed a little bit. Dr. Biter asked if I wanted to flip around and try some on my back in a half sitting position. I was glad for his direction because I had no inclination of what was a better position to be in.
After about 20 minutes of pushing, I heard Nathan say "Oh wow!". The baby's head was out and its size surprised him. Then Dr. Biter asked me to look down and come get my baby. The baby was out of me as far as the waist. This was such a surreal moment. There was a baby half way in, half way out of my body. I reached down and grasped its shoulders and lifted it out the rest of the way and onto my tummy. All I could say was, "Oh my gosh! It's a lil person!" over and over again. Nathan and I both stared just amazed at our baby and all that had happened. I was so relieved. We'd done it together without medication or intervention.
After a few minutes, Dr. Biter said, "Hey let's find out if we have a boy or girl!" We looked beneath the blanket and discovered we'd had a perfect baby girl. The name we'd picked out if we had a girl suited her just right, Helena Abigail. She was born at 8:33 am, weighed 7 lbs 15 ounces, and measured 20 inches long. And no perineal tears for momma (yay!). We're so blessed to have her as well as the care we received from Dr. Biter and his team. Her birth was more incredible than we ever expected. And now we have a little girl we just can't stop kissing from head to toe.
Thank you so much for being a part of our pregnancy journey. I hope many more mothers and fathers will consider birthing their little ones naturally. It was just beyond wonderful for us.
Many thanks, Kelly F
Thanks for sharing your birth story, Kelly! Congratulations & enjoy your babymoon!
www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A beautiful HypnoBirthing story
Here's a wonderful HypnoBirthing story that another HypnoBirthing practitioner shared...enjoy & be inspired!
Mason’s Birth Story 2008
My pregnancy was wonderful and enjoyable from the start: no morning sickness, absent was unbearable fatigue and crazy cravings never found me! All of the things I had been told by many to expect. Throughout my pregnancy, in addition to the congratulatory excitement from family, friends and strangers also came the ‘doom and gloom’ birth stories. I would politely listen but would never let them get the better of my positive outlook.
Positive attitude is what I believe created my pregnancy and birth outcome! That is how I knew HypnoBirthing was the right choice for my husband, my baby and me. Growing up, I was always fascinated by pregnancy and birth. From a young age, I would ask my mom what labor was like for her and what it felt like to be pregnant. I have never forgotten her responses. She shared with me that she never felt more beautiful or amazed by her body then when she was pregnant. She also told me that the pain you feel in childbirth can’t be described because it is the only discomfort where there is a joyous outcome!
My midwife thought that I would go earlier than my guess date (a Thursday). At my appointment a week beforehand, she said the baby’s head was at a zero station and I was dilated 1 cm. My parents rushed in from out of state a few days earlier than planned but the baby did not! My husband and I enjoyed the next week + with my parents; walking, watching movies, walking some more, eating great meals outside in the backyard and enjoying each other’s company!
My husband decided to take the few days around my guess date off from work in case anything should happen. It ended up being a great time to prepare for the baby and relax! He decided over the weekend that he would return to work on Monday. On Monday morning, around 5:30 AM, I woke up for my third or fourth usual bathroom trip of the night. When I returned to bed and tried to fall back asleep, I felt a small ‘gush’ of fluid and thought, "Oh great, I AM going to experience that part of pregnancy when you can’t hold your bladder from acting on its own!" It happened a second time and this made me return to the bathroom where I stayed for the next 20 min or so trying to decide if this was indeed my water breaking. Still not 100% sure (my mom never had her water break with the three of us and since I had replicated her wonderful pregnancies, I was not expecting this to happen!), I returned to the bedroom and woke up my husband saying; "I think my water broke". He told me he thought something was going on when I did not return to bed right away. As I stood there, a more noticeable gush of fluid happened and we were both sure at that point this was indeed my water breaking!
I told him that he wasn’t going to work that day! He told me he had a feeling that this would be the case! My first thought was, "what do we do now?!" I suggested to my husband that we try to get some sleep since my surges didn’t seem to have started a regular pattern yet and we were up for a long day ahead of us. Of course, that didn’t happen! We were too excited to sleep! I thought maybe we should wait to wake my parents but my husband reminded me that this was what they were here for and he went downstairs to tell them they would be grandparents that day! When he let them know what had happened, my mom said "Thank god!" and gave my husband a high five! My dad was still half-asleep but was still able to say, "Cool!" in an excited voice! I started to have some surges shortly after my water broke and Mark timed them, although still inconsistent, at about 10 minutes apart.
It now made sense why I was hungry before going to bed. My body must have been preparing for the big event! I told Mark we should eat breakfast before I might not want to eat anymore and he left to go and get bagels. My dad made breakfast while my mom continued to time my surges. They were happening about 8-10 min apart at this point but they were tolerable and not bothering me. We enjoyed a wonderful and relaxing breakfast outside in the backyard and I noticed my surges start to gain some intensity and get closer together. Something in my mind told me I should take a shower. This is when my mind/body connection started to take over!
My surges continued to get closer and at about 10:15 AM, Mark asked me if we should call our midwife. I spoke to her and she asked me how I was feeling now that the surges were getting stronger and closer together. I told her I was doing well and that the surges were still inconsistent but some were coming as close as 6 min apart. She said to call back when they were under 5 minutes apart or if the intensity went to the next level, whichever came first. I then decided I wanted to lie down in my bed and listen to my affirmations and Rainbow Relaxation. The surges started to become more and more intense and I needed to focus inward to get through each one. This still wasn’t really difficult to do though! During the time when I was listening to my HypnoBirthing exercises, I relied more and more on my labor support team (Mark and my mom!). Mark was applying counter pressure on my hips and my mom held my hand or helped with the counter pressure.
At this point, I was listening to a CD my sister made for me to relax (I asked her to do this so I could save it for ‘birth day’!). My surges quickly became 2-4 minutes apart and Mark said he thought we should call the midwife back. Time distortion was beginning to happen at this point for me; things seemed to be happening quickly but I still didn’t feel like it was time to go to the hospital. My biggest fear was getting to the hospital too quickly. Especially knowing that my water had already broken, I knew in the back of my mind that induction could become a reality if I was admitted too soon. Mark spoke to our midwife and she said she would meet us at the hospital. I started to cry because I said it was too soon and it didn’t seem "bad enough yet" (although I wasn’t sure what I meant by that)! My mom reassured me that it wasn’t too soon, my surges were coming so close together. I decided it was time to go.
We had a 25-minute ride to the hospital. Mark drove my car with me in the front seat and my mom behind me pressing on my shoulders every time I signaled, "OK!" with another surge. It was a bit more difficult to stay focused in the car but I tuned into my sister’s CD and we all began singing the closer we got to the hospital. We arrived and were checked into the room at about 2:00 PM. Donna, our midwife, was there and right away I was at ease with her calming spirit. I told the nurse I wanted to keep my own clothes on and she looked at me as if she didn’t know what to do with that answer. Donna let her know it was okay for me to wear my own clothes, as long as I knew my pants had to come off eventually!
They monitored me for the required 15-20 minutes and Donna watched me as I relaxed through my surges. We talked about her checking me but she didn’t want to do the one exam she would probably end up doing too soon because it would "start another clock" now that I was in the hospital with my water broken. She said by observing me, she would guess I was still in early labor but then decided we would see where I was at. After checking me, she said I was open about 2 cm. (and then ‘stretched’ me a bit closer to 3 cm). Thinking back to this, I wonder why I wasn’t extremely upset upon hearing this news. I was in early labor, I could be possibly facing induction- the awful pitocin and then EPIDURAL?!?! Donna had me try the chest down, butt up position to encourage the baby to move into the best position. This was the most uncomfortable part of my birthing and when I do remember feeling pain. When Donna said, I only had to try it for three surges, that made all the difference for me. I was out of that position immediately after those three surges passed and my body told me I wanted to go into the shower.
My body was telling me exactly what I needed. At times, it was almost as if I was hearing a voice in my head commenting on what was happening to me and around me but it never took my focus away from my body or my baby. It is something that is difficult to explain but it was truly amazing. Mark sat on the bench in the shower with me and provided counter pressure and support the entire time. The water felt so good. All of a sudden though, I said I have to get out now. I just knew I was done with the water but I didn’t know why, the thought came up pretty abruptly! I got out and wanted to lie on my side in the bed. I thought I had been in the shower for about 20 minutes but I was in there for almost an hour!! After getting out, I remember having a wavering moment when I told Mark I wasn’t sure if I could do it. When he told me I could, I said adamantly- "No! You have to say, I AM doing it!!". I realize now that I was telling this to myself, it was the first, and last time I had a slightly negative thought cross my mind.
Lying in the bed, I told my mom to turn on "Rainbow Relaxation". The powerful surges rushed through my entire body and forced a low grunting sound that ‘pushed’ my energy downward. This feeling really embodied the word ‘surge". At that point, I had no control of my body but I felt so IN control of what was happening and what my baby was doing at the same time. Donna came into the room and I remember hearing her say to my mom, "Is she pushing?!" My mom told her I had been responding to the last several surges this way. Donna asked me if I felt like I wanted to push and I told her I didn’t know! I just knew that my body was doing what it needed to do. She decided to check me again- it was only 4:00 PM at this point but when she checked me, I was completely open and ready to have the baby!
I pushed for just under two hours. It was extremely tiring but so empowering at the same time. I lost all sense of time and place at that point but I was still tuned in to "Rainbow Relaxation". It had played a couple times already but as focused inward as I was, I always became aware of when it was about to end. I would say, "Again!" to my mom and she quickly realized I needed the CD re-set to make "Rainbow" play again. I focused on the ritual of it playing. Every time Jessica Porter’s voice (from the older HypnoBirthing CD) was ending the relaxation, it was only then that I consciously heard her voice and knew to tell my mom to press play again. I remember opening my eyes at one point and seeing a few nurses just standing at the foot of the bed watching. I didn’t know when they got there or that they WERE there! Every single person who came into the room whispered and never disrupted me. I still have no idea when or for how long the nurses came into the room! The lights were kept low the entire time. They ASKED for my birth preferences, which pleasantly surprised me. They read them and followed my requests from beginning to end. These were all things I really noticed afterwards but I KNOW they made a huge difference in the success of my birthing experience.
It was wonderful to touch my baby’s head as it was emerging. I decided in the moment to not use a mirror as I thought I would want to but it didn’t matter. I could hear and listen to each word Donna said to me in her low and calming voice. Near the end, I remember feeling tense and telling my body to relax and noticing how much easier it felt after that. Donna told me to give her my hands so I could bring my baby to me. This was something I wrote in my birth preferences and I am so glad that I did. It was unbelievable to feel my baby under the arms and bring him onto my chest. Another preference and a memory I wouldn’t trade for the world was when Mark leaned over and said to me, "It’s a boy! We have a son!"
Mason came into the world at 6:07 PM on Monday. His birth was the most wonderful, powerful and incredible experience I have ever had. It still is hard for me to believe sometimes that my birthing experience was what I dreamed it would be. However, I know this is what made it a reality.
I believed in my body, and myself,
I trusted my baby and knew he had an active part in his birth,
I remained positive from the start of my pregnancy through the birth,
I relished in the amazing support of my husband and my mom,
I was comforted by my midwife’s presence and
I used all the lessons learned in Hypnobirthing to maintain all of these feelings during this most wonderful time.
It was so wonderful to enjoy Mason after his birth- he was fully alert for over 4 1/2hours!!!
Shared by Kathryn Beck, CH, HBCE, HBFS, RMT www.imaginehealthandwellness.com
www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
Mason’s Birth Story 2008
My pregnancy was wonderful and enjoyable from the start: no morning sickness, absent was unbearable fatigue and crazy cravings never found me! All of the things I had been told by many to expect. Throughout my pregnancy, in addition to the congratulatory excitement from family, friends and strangers also came the ‘doom and gloom’ birth stories. I would politely listen but would never let them get the better of my positive outlook.
Positive attitude is what I believe created my pregnancy and birth outcome! That is how I knew HypnoBirthing was the right choice for my husband, my baby and me. Growing up, I was always fascinated by pregnancy and birth. From a young age, I would ask my mom what labor was like for her and what it felt like to be pregnant. I have never forgotten her responses. She shared with me that she never felt more beautiful or amazed by her body then when she was pregnant. She also told me that the pain you feel in childbirth can’t be described because it is the only discomfort where there is a joyous outcome!
My midwife thought that I would go earlier than my guess date (a Thursday). At my appointment a week beforehand, she said the baby’s head was at a zero station and I was dilated 1 cm. My parents rushed in from out of state a few days earlier than planned but the baby did not! My husband and I enjoyed the next week + with my parents; walking, watching movies, walking some more, eating great meals outside in the backyard and enjoying each other’s company!
My husband decided to take the few days around my guess date off from work in case anything should happen. It ended up being a great time to prepare for the baby and relax! He decided over the weekend that he would return to work on Monday. On Monday morning, around 5:30 AM, I woke up for my third or fourth usual bathroom trip of the night. When I returned to bed and tried to fall back asleep, I felt a small ‘gush’ of fluid and thought, "Oh great, I AM going to experience that part of pregnancy when you can’t hold your bladder from acting on its own!" It happened a second time and this made me return to the bathroom where I stayed for the next 20 min or so trying to decide if this was indeed my water breaking. Still not 100% sure (my mom never had her water break with the three of us and since I had replicated her wonderful pregnancies, I was not expecting this to happen!), I returned to the bedroom and woke up my husband saying; "I think my water broke". He told me he thought something was going on when I did not return to bed right away. As I stood there, a more noticeable gush of fluid happened and we were both sure at that point this was indeed my water breaking!
I told him that he wasn’t going to work that day! He told me he had a feeling that this would be the case! My first thought was, "what do we do now?!" I suggested to my husband that we try to get some sleep since my surges didn’t seem to have started a regular pattern yet and we were up for a long day ahead of us. Of course, that didn’t happen! We were too excited to sleep! I thought maybe we should wait to wake my parents but my husband reminded me that this was what they were here for and he went downstairs to tell them they would be grandparents that day! When he let them know what had happened, my mom said "Thank god!" and gave my husband a high five! My dad was still half-asleep but was still able to say, "Cool!" in an excited voice! I started to have some surges shortly after my water broke and Mark timed them, although still inconsistent, at about 10 minutes apart.
It now made sense why I was hungry before going to bed. My body must have been preparing for the big event! I told Mark we should eat breakfast before I might not want to eat anymore and he left to go and get bagels. My dad made breakfast while my mom continued to time my surges. They were happening about 8-10 min apart at this point but they were tolerable and not bothering me. We enjoyed a wonderful and relaxing breakfast outside in the backyard and I noticed my surges start to gain some intensity and get closer together. Something in my mind told me I should take a shower. This is when my mind/body connection started to take over!
My surges continued to get closer and at about 10:15 AM, Mark asked me if we should call our midwife. I spoke to her and she asked me how I was feeling now that the surges were getting stronger and closer together. I told her I was doing well and that the surges were still inconsistent but some were coming as close as 6 min apart. She said to call back when they were under 5 minutes apart or if the intensity went to the next level, whichever came first. I then decided I wanted to lie down in my bed and listen to my affirmations and Rainbow Relaxation. The surges started to become more and more intense and I needed to focus inward to get through each one. This still wasn’t really difficult to do though! During the time when I was listening to my HypnoBirthing exercises, I relied more and more on my labor support team (Mark and my mom!). Mark was applying counter pressure on my hips and my mom held my hand or helped with the counter pressure.
At this point, I was listening to a CD my sister made for me to relax (I asked her to do this so I could save it for ‘birth day’!). My surges quickly became 2-4 minutes apart and Mark said he thought we should call the midwife back. Time distortion was beginning to happen at this point for me; things seemed to be happening quickly but I still didn’t feel like it was time to go to the hospital. My biggest fear was getting to the hospital too quickly. Especially knowing that my water had already broken, I knew in the back of my mind that induction could become a reality if I was admitted too soon. Mark spoke to our midwife and she said she would meet us at the hospital. I started to cry because I said it was too soon and it didn’t seem "bad enough yet" (although I wasn’t sure what I meant by that)! My mom reassured me that it wasn’t too soon, my surges were coming so close together. I decided it was time to go.
We had a 25-minute ride to the hospital. Mark drove my car with me in the front seat and my mom behind me pressing on my shoulders every time I signaled, "OK!" with another surge. It was a bit more difficult to stay focused in the car but I tuned into my sister’s CD and we all began singing the closer we got to the hospital. We arrived and were checked into the room at about 2:00 PM. Donna, our midwife, was there and right away I was at ease with her calming spirit. I told the nurse I wanted to keep my own clothes on and she looked at me as if she didn’t know what to do with that answer. Donna let her know it was okay for me to wear my own clothes, as long as I knew my pants had to come off eventually!
They monitored me for the required 15-20 minutes and Donna watched me as I relaxed through my surges. We talked about her checking me but she didn’t want to do the one exam she would probably end up doing too soon because it would "start another clock" now that I was in the hospital with my water broken. She said by observing me, she would guess I was still in early labor but then decided we would see where I was at. After checking me, she said I was open about 2 cm. (and then ‘stretched’ me a bit closer to 3 cm). Thinking back to this, I wonder why I wasn’t extremely upset upon hearing this news. I was in early labor, I could be possibly facing induction- the awful pitocin and then EPIDURAL?!?! Donna had me try the chest down, butt up position to encourage the baby to move into the best position. This was the most uncomfortable part of my birthing and when I do remember feeling pain. When Donna said, I only had to try it for three surges, that made all the difference for me. I was out of that position immediately after those three surges passed and my body told me I wanted to go into the shower.
My body was telling me exactly what I needed. At times, it was almost as if I was hearing a voice in my head commenting on what was happening to me and around me but it never took my focus away from my body or my baby. It is something that is difficult to explain but it was truly amazing. Mark sat on the bench in the shower with me and provided counter pressure and support the entire time. The water felt so good. All of a sudden though, I said I have to get out now. I just knew I was done with the water but I didn’t know why, the thought came up pretty abruptly! I got out and wanted to lie on my side in the bed. I thought I had been in the shower for about 20 minutes but I was in there for almost an hour!! After getting out, I remember having a wavering moment when I told Mark I wasn’t sure if I could do it. When he told me I could, I said adamantly- "No! You have to say, I AM doing it!!". I realize now that I was telling this to myself, it was the first, and last time I had a slightly negative thought cross my mind.
Lying in the bed, I told my mom to turn on "Rainbow Relaxation". The powerful surges rushed through my entire body and forced a low grunting sound that ‘pushed’ my energy downward. This feeling really embodied the word ‘surge". At that point, I had no control of my body but I felt so IN control of what was happening and what my baby was doing at the same time. Donna came into the room and I remember hearing her say to my mom, "Is she pushing?!" My mom told her I had been responding to the last several surges this way. Donna asked me if I felt like I wanted to push and I told her I didn’t know! I just knew that my body was doing what it needed to do. She decided to check me again- it was only 4:00 PM at this point but when she checked me, I was completely open and ready to have the baby!
I pushed for just under two hours. It was extremely tiring but so empowering at the same time. I lost all sense of time and place at that point but I was still tuned in to "Rainbow Relaxation". It had played a couple times already but as focused inward as I was, I always became aware of when it was about to end. I would say, "Again!" to my mom and she quickly realized I needed the CD re-set to make "Rainbow" play again. I focused on the ritual of it playing. Every time Jessica Porter’s voice (from the older HypnoBirthing CD) was ending the relaxation, it was only then that I consciously heard her voice and knew to tell my mom to press play again. I remember opening my eyes at one point and seeing a few nurses just standing at the foot of the bed watching. I didn’t know when they got there or that they WERE there! Every single person who came into the room whispered and never disrupted me. I still have no idea when or for how long the nurses came into the room! The lights were kept low the entire time. They ASKED for my birth preferences, which pleasantly surprised me. They read them and followed my requests from beginning to end. These were all things I really noticed afterwards but I KNOW they made a huge difference in the success of my birthing experience.
It was wonderful to touch my baby’s head as it was emerging. I decided in the moment to not use a mirror as I thought I would want to but it didn’t matter. I could hear and listen to each word Donna said to me in her low and calming voice. Near the end, I remember feeling tense and telling my body to relax and noticing how much easier it felt after that. Donna told me to give her my hands so I could bring my baby to me. This was something I wrote in my birth preferences and I am so glad that I did. It was unbelievable to feel my baby under the arms and bring him onto my chest. Another preference and a memory I wouldn’t trade for the world was when Mark leaned over and said to me, "It’s a boy! We have a son!"
Mason came into the world at 6:07 PM on Monday. His birth was the most wonderful, powerful and incredible experience I have ever had. It still is hard for me to believe sometimes that my birthing experience was what I dreamed it would be. However, I know this is what made it a reality.
I believed in my body, and myself,
I trusted my baby and knew he had an active part in his birth,
I remained positive from the start of my pregnancy through the birth,
I relished in the amazing support of my husband and my mom,
I was comforted by my midwife’s presence and
I used all the lessons learned in Hypnobirthing to maintain all of these feelings during this most wonderful time.
It was so wonderful to enjoy Mason after his birth- he was fully alert for over 4 1/2hours!!!
Shared by Kathryn Beck, CH, HBCE, HBFS, RMT www.imaginehealthandwellness.com
www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
Saturday, December 6, 2008
What you think if what you get
What you think is what you get...
From the Midwifery Today newsletter:
A 2002 Taiwan study investigating the association between demographic-obstetric factors and perceived labor pain in 90 primiparas (1st time mothers) having normal births found that their perceived level of pain was related to their expected level of pain. The researchers found no significant association between the pain and newborn birth weight, maternal age, body mass index, confidence in labor or duration of labor. They concluded that the "findings suggest that primiparas' perceived labor pain is correlated with psychogenic rather than physical factors."— Kaohsiung J Med Sci, 18(12):604–09, 2002
So, be mindful of the language you are using. In HypnoBirthing, we teach our class members to eliminate the word "pain" from their language & use the word "sensation". I even have my class members play a little game: Whenever you bump your elbow or knee or stub your toe, instead of instantly saying "Ow! That's painful!", I want you to say, "Oh! What's that sensation!" If you do this exercise, you will find that the sensation is throbbing, stinging, numbness, etc. AND that the sensation will go away much faster than concentrating on the "pain". I encourage my class members to do this exercise often so that their brain begins to be conditioned to look for the sensation rather than an automatic response of pain. That way, when the time comes & labor starts, the body/mind will be trained to go to an automatic "sensation" response as well.
www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
From the Midwifery Today newsletter:
A 2002 Taiwan study investigating the association between demographic-obstetric factors and perceived labor pain in 90 primiparas (1st time mothers) having normal births found that their perceived level of pain was related to their expected level of pain. The researchers found no significant association between the pain and newborn birth weight, maternal age, body mass index, confidence in labor or duration of labor. They concluded that the "findings suggest that primiparas' perceived labor pain is correlated with psychogenic rather than physical factors."— Kaohsiung J Med Sci, 18(12):604–09, 2002
So, be mindful of the language you are using. In HypnoBirthing, we teach our class members to eliminate the word "pain" from their language & use the word "sensation". I even have my class members play a little game: Whenever you bump your elbow or knee or stub your toe, instead of instantly saying "Ow! That's painful!", I want you to say, "Oh! What's that sensation!" If you do this exercise, you will find that the sensation is throbbing, stinging, numbness, etc. AND that the sensation will go away much faster than concentrating on the "pain". I encourage my class members to do this exercise often so that their brain begins to be conditioned to look for the sensation rather than an automatic response of pain. That way, when the time comes & labor starts, the body/mind will be trained to go to an automatic "sensation" response as well.
www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
Friday, November 7, 2008
A HypnoBirthing story
Here's a HypnoBirthing story from one of my past class members. She took the classes very close to her "guess" date. Enjoy!
Hi Carol,
I hope you and your family are doing well. James and I are doing great and are enjoying every second of parenthood. Blake is the sweetest boy and we are absolutely in love with him.
I have been meaning to call you and tell you my birth story but it seems something always comes up so I decided to write you. I first want to thank you so much for all of your help in getting us prepared for Blakes' arrival by giving me the confidence and important information that I used during his birth. I truly believe if it wasn't for you my birthing experience wouldn't have been so wonderful. Here is my story:
I just hit my 38th week of pregnancy and I started having some surges on April 3rd at around 1:15 A.M. I first thought they were the braxton hicks contractions I had been having for weeks so I didn't think much of them. I stayed in bed for a little over an hour until I noticed that they were becoming regular and were 8 minutes apart. I decided to get out of bed and walk around to see how I was feeling. I noticed that I was having some lower back pressure so I decided to start getting everything ready in case this was it. About a half hour later the surges started becoming more frequent and more intense so I began to get myself ready and I jumped in the shower. I thought that I would have still several hours at home before I needed to go to the hospital but I was wrong. While in the shower the surges became so intense that I could no longer stand. I finished my shower and tried to go downstairs to let James know that we had to get going to the hospital but I only made it to the master bedroom. I yelled for James several times but he couldn't hear me because he was finishing up all the things that needed to be done before we left. By the time he got upstairs it was about 3:00 A.M. and my surges were about 2 minutes apart, he then called Dr. Zaid and got the car packed up. In the car I started to listen to the rainbow relaxation on the hypnobirthing CD (If I would have known my labor was going to progress so quickly I would have started earlier). On the way to the hospital my surges were 1 minute apart and I could feel myself starting to get panicked because my labor was progressing so fast. I calmed myself down by using the relaxation and visualization techniques you taught me. I could feel myself relax and gain control over my emotions. Once we got to the off ramp where the hospital was I felt the urge to push!
Once we got to the hospital we checked in and a nurse checked me to see how far I had progressed. I was fully dilated and Blake had already started to descend. Unfortunately we forgot to bring the mp3 player and our camera with us when leaving the car and the nurses wouldn't let James go to the car and get them because as they put it 'this baby is coming!' So I was unable to listen to the hypnobirthing CD during the rest of my labor. But because of all your information and relaxation techniques I learned during the classes I was still able to stay calm and mostly relaxed. When the nurses would tell me to hold my breath and push or open my eyes and focus on a spot in the room I didn't. I went inside myself and listened to my body and did what felt right for me and because of this I had a great birthing experience and that is all thanks to you. Throughout the birthing experience I was totally present and didn't let other people take control of my sons' birth.
Blake was born at 5:12 A.M, which makes my entire labor only 4 hours and I probably only pushed for 20 minutes! I think that is pretty amazing for a first time birth. I didn't have any tearing and I account that to staying relaxed and listening to my body, which included getting in different positions. Now I wouldn't say that I had a pain free birth but it was definitely manageable.
I had such a great experience because of you and if you ever need a reference I would be more than happy to recommend you and tell to other woman interested in hypnobirthing my birth story.
Thanks again,
Erica H
http://www.awelllivedlife.net/
http://www.awelllivedlife.blogspot.com/
Hi Carol,
I hope you and your family are doing well. James and I are doing great and are enjoying every second of parenthood. Blake is the sweetest boy and we are absolutely in love with him.
I have been meaning to call you and tell you my birth story but it seems something always comes up so I decided to write you. I first want to thank you so much for all of your help in getting us prepared for Blakes' arrival by giving me the confidence and important information that I used during his birth. I truly believe if it wasn't for you my birthing experience wouldn't have been so wonderful. Here is my story:
I just hit my 38th week of pregnancy and I started having some surges on April 3rd at around 1:15 A.M. I first thought they were the braxton hicks contractions I had been having for weeks so I didn't think much of them. I stayed in bed for a little over an hour until I noticed that they were becoming regular and were 8 minutes apart. I decided to get out of bed and walk around to see how I was feeling. I noticed that I was having some lower back pressure so I decided to start getting everything ready in case this was it. About a half hour later the surges started becoming more frequent and more intense so I began to get myself ready and I jumped in the shower. I thought that I would have still several hours at home before I needed to go to the hospital but I was wrong. While in the shower the surges became so intense that I could no longer stand. I finished my shower and tried to go downstairs to let James know that we had to get going to the hospital but I only made it to the master bedroom. I yelled for James several times but he couldn't hear me because he was finishing up all the things that needed to be done before we left. By the time he got upstairs it was about 3:00 A.M. and my surges were about 2 minutes apart, he then called Dr. Zaid and got the car packed up. In the car I started to listen to the rainbow relaxation on the hypnobirthing CD (If I would have known my labor was going to progress so quickly I would have started earlier). On the way to the hospital my surges were 1 minute apart and I could feel myself starting to get panicked because my labor was progressing so fast. I calmed myself down by using the relaxation and visualization techniques you taught me. I could feel myself relax and gain control over my emotions. Once we got to the off ramp where the hospital was I felt the urge to push!
Once we got to the hospital we checked in and a nurse checked me to see how far I had progressed. I was fully dilated and Blake had already started to descend. Unfortunately we forgot to bring the mp3 player and our camera with us when leaving the car and the nurses wouldn't let James go to the car and get them because as they put it 'this baby is coming!' So I was unable to listen to the hypnobirthing CD during the rest of my labor. But because of all your information and relaxation techniques I learned during the classes I was still able to stay calm and mostly relaxed. When the nurses would tell me to hold my breath and push or open my eyes and focus on a spot in the room I didn't. I went inside myself and listened to my body and did what felt right for me and because of this I had a great birthing experience and that is all thanks to you. Throughout the birthing experience I was totally present and didn't let other people take control of my sons' birth.
Blake was born at 5:12 A.M, which makes my entire labor only 4 hours and I probably only pushed for 20 minutes! I think that is pretty amazing for a first time birth. I didn't have any tearing and I account that to staying relaxed and listening to my body, which included getting in different positions. Now I wouldn't say that I had a pain free birth but it was definitely manageable.
I had such a great experience because of you and if you ever need a reference I would be more than happy to recommend you and tell to other woman interested in hypnobirthing my birth story.
Thanks again,
Erica H
http://www.awelllivedlife.net/
http://www.awelllivedlife.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Orgasmic Birth?
This looks like an amazing film. I can't wait to see it! It goes so in line with HypnoBirthing. For those HypnoBirthing mommies out there, just "cancel, cancel" when the trailer mentions pain a few times. I totally agree that women can have orgasmic births. My 2nd birth was so enjoyable (although not orgasmic...darn!), I really wish I could birth more babies. Not be pregnant & not be a mommy to a newborn again, but just birth again!
Enjoy the trailer!
What would happen if women were taught to enjoy birth rather than endure it?
In answering that question, Orgasmic Birth poses the ultimate challenge to our cultural myths.
Filmmaker Debra Pascali-Bonaro reveals a revolutionary approach to birth that is statistically safer and healthier for both mother and child than the birthing and delivery methods that are standard in many parts of the world today.
The viewer becomes an intimate part of the birth stories of 11 women who said YES to this journey. Each is shown laboring undisturbed in a free, sensuous, joyous moment.
With commentary by Dr. Christiane Northrup, Ina May Gaskin, and other experts in the field and stunning moments of women in the ecstatic release of childbirth.
Learn more at: http://orgasmicbirth.com/
www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
Enjoy the trailer!
What would happen if women were taught to enjoy birth rather than endure it?
In answering that question, Orgasmic Birth poses the ultimate challenge to our cultural myths.
Filmmaker Debra Pascali-Bonaro reveals a revolutionary approach to birth that is statistically safer and healthier for both mother and child than the birthing and delivery methods that are standard in many parts of the world today.
The viewer becomes an intimate part of the birth stories of 11 women who said YES to this journey. Each is shown laboring undisturbed in a free, sensuous, joyous moment.
With commentary by Dr. Christiane Northrup, Ina May Gaskin, and other experts in the field and stunning moments of women in the ecstatic release of childbirth.
Learn more at: http://orgasmicbirth.com/
www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
Saturday, January 19, 2008
A Letter to My Daughter
Hi-
This is a beautifully written letter by a HypnoBirthing mother to her daughter about her birth experience. Please share it with your friends who are expecting a baby & those that are thinking about having a baby. I think women need to know that they can have an empowering, wonderful, peaceful birth!
AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
A Letter to My Daughter by Flavia Goncalves
Praising and mirroring the actions of women who are rupturing tradition, transforming taboos, or just simply excelling in their fields, helps us lay a foundation for a better, more respectful world for our daughters. The problem is that on the individual level, many women don't believe they possess what it takes to be a role model. I, for one, was one of them.
Unique women are unique because they believe in what they stand for. If I can get this message across to my daughter alone, I will consider my job done.
Dear baby girl,
Your name is Luma. It comes from the Latin word lumen, and it means light, illuminated, sparkle of life. Where I am from, to give birth ("dar a luz") means to give life. However, in our case, I believe it happened the other way around. In the miraculous moment of your birth, I was truly born. I learned that you were growing inside me a few days before Christmas. Although I do not observe any particular religious faith, I believe that you were sent to me as a gift. The motherly instincts I didn't imagine I had surfaced immediately; you became my reason to be. The first time I heard your heart beat, I shivered with emotion. When I saw you on the first sonogram, I cried. I was in a constant state of joy. My belly grew bigger as you grew inside me. I remember one particular night, when I was lying in bed reading; you suddenly slid your little foot across my belly. I placed my hand where I had felt you and you kicked again. We had discovered a game which we played quite often, for you were a very active baby. The more my belly grew the happier and prettier I felt.
Other than being very sleepy in the beginning and at the final months, the pregnancy itself was an easy one. Given that I was feeling good and everything seemed to be going well, your father and I asked the doctor about our chances of having a natural birth. The doctor was very supportive. He agreed that I was having a normal and healthy pregnancy and our chances of a successful natural birth were high.
Labor pain? Yes, I did think about it. I guess this issue crosses the mind of every single pregnant woman. It will probably cross yours too someday. Fear of pain. There was nothing I could do about the pain, but there was something I could do about fear and so I did. I found a HypnoBirthing coach and I followed her instructions diligently, every day, many times a day. I knew she could help me. HypnoBirthing, or Hypnosis, is nothing more than a deep state of concentration. I practiced meditation and relaxation. I repeated my affirmations (a long list of beliefs) morning, afternoon and evening. I worked on slow long deep breaths. My confidence grew stronger every single day and the fear vanished.
I was met with skepticism and disapproval from several friends and family. First, several people didn't know what hypnosis was all about and were skeptical of me trying it. Second, my birth choice caused alarm; after all, c-sections in Miami are expected by most. Miami's c-section rates are among the highest in the USA and the developed countries. Friends and family from Sao Paulo also were puzzled. C-section rates there are the highest in the world! To my disappointment, some people tried to discourage me by describing horrible birth stories; others would just say that I would never be able to withstand the pain, that I just would not be able to do it. The truth is, Luma, that I did not know. I couldn't know what the outcome would be. But I didn't get discouraged.
At this point, you must be thinking how brave and courageous your mommy is, but I wasn't. This is where you come in. During my entire life, I rarely took credit for my successes, or believed in my capabilities, and worse yet, several times I didn't stand up for myself when I should have. But in this case, I was doing it for you. Without blinking, I would do it a thousand times for you. The new me had been conceived. A world of possibilities opened up to me.
While my doctor was genuinely supportive of my birth choice, I found out too late that his practice colleagues were not as agreeable. Therefore, I decided to change doctors. Because the pregnancy was very advanced, no other practice risked taking me in. I was disappointed, of course, but still determined. So I took a leap of faith. You were already thirty-six weeks old when I left the practice.
I put you and myself into the care of Miriam, our midwife. I felt an immediate relief the minute I stepped in the Maternity Center. Miriam was nurturing, calm, and never condescending. She empathized with my situation and was willing to help me, even if that meant finding another doctor. Miriam just felt right and I stuck with her. To make matters even better, Miriam offered water births, an option that was very attractive to me. You were forty and a half weeks old, in position and very low, but still pretty comfortable inside.
To help you, I went on long walks, scrubbed the bath tub, and swam every day. Until one day my laps in the pool were interrupted by this tightening on my belly, that wouldn't stop. Calmly, I told your dad, who was swimming next lane over, that time had arrived. We went home, I took a long shower, your grandma gathered things we needed to take, and after Miriam checked my progress we all went to the Maternity Center. The ambiance of our room at the Birthing Center was perfect: it was calm, soothing music played, the lights were dimmed, and there were few candles flickering. I sat in bed and concentrated on slow long breaths and pretty soon I fell asleep. Yes, I fell asleep. When I finally woke up, the contractions were almost back to back and very intense. It was time to get into the water and just as I did I felt a difference. I was really aware of my body and you and the changes that were quickly taking place. Nonetheless, I lost notion of time. During the breaks between contractions, I relaxed so much that I would fall into a deep sleep and even have dreams. Grandma held my head while I drifted off. Your father was my link to a regular state of consciousness; he kept me hydrated; he caressed my belly. I never felt pain, except for a couple of times when I had to pipi, first, because the power of gravity outside of the water was tremendous, second, because, I couldn't concentrate on the surges and do pipi at the same time. Otherwise, things were happening as I pictured they would.
When I felt it was time I asked your dad to fetch Miriam. Your grandma had already positioned herself, my back towards her; she held my head and caressed my hair. Now your dad plunged into the water in front of me. He described the evolution of your birth, his voice trembled with ecstasy. Sometimes emotion took over him and all he could say was, "Oh, my God, Oh my God!" His happiness and pride strengthened me. Miriam was also a key person, as a HypnoBirthing coach herself, she knew when I was losing concentration and would bring me right back. We all worked together. When you were ready to come out, your dad's hands were there to hold you. Then he placed you on my chest. I never knew I could love so much. While I was holding and looking at you mesmerized, your grandma whispered in my ear, "You and your daughter were born at exactly the same hour: 4:10am." I smiled at the coincidence and thought to myself that you had given me a second chance to actually live. I was proud!
I was so proud and happy. If I had to put in just a few words what your birth experience felt like, I would say that it was the most intense physical and spiritual experience I have ever lived. Such an empowering experience still resonates. I am a different person. I live life to the fullest. I invite challenge, I face my fears, and I take advantage of opportunities. I am still human, though. Sometimes I am scared, sometimes I fail, and sometimes I make mistakes. So forgive me, because I will fail you. I will make mistakes, but I promise to always love you. I promise that I will work everyday to be a better and stronger person than I was yesterday. I promise to be a role model to you, so you can grow up as a strong, confident woman. I promise to live my dreams, because I want you to live yours.
Love always, Mom.
My story is an account of what we can do or what we can become if we truly believe in ourselves. It describes what happens when we free ourselves from outside judgment and pre-conceived beliefs. In my case, believing in me has caused a chain-reaction of self accomplishments. After birthing my daughter naturally, in the water and without pain, when many around me considered it impossible, I engaged in many other challenging activities. I started running and became a marathon runner and a triathlete. Currently I am training for a half ironman (a 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike ride, and a 13.1 run event). I also went back to school and took up art classes. I plan to flourish in the art world. Lastly, after twenty years I started writing again.
This is a beautifully written letter by a HypnoBirthing mother to her daughter about her birth experience. Please share it with your friends who are expecting a baby & those that are thinking about having a baby. I think women need to know that they can have an empowering, wonderful, peaceful birth!
AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com
A Letter to My Daughter by Flavia Goncalves
Praising and mirroring the actions of women who are rupturing tradition, transforming taboos, or just simply excelling in their fields, helps us lay a foundation for a better, more respectful world for our daughters. The problem is that on the individual level, many women don't believe they possess what it takes to be a role model. I, for one, was one of them.
Unique women are unique because they believe in what they stand for. If I can get this message across to my daughter alone, I will consider my job done.
Dear baby girl,
Your name is Luma. It comes from the Latin word lumen, and it means light, illuminated, sparkle of life. Where I am from, to give birth ("dar a luz") means to give life. However, in our case, I believe it happened the other way around. In the miraculous moment of your birth, I was truly born. I learned that you were growing inside me a few days before Christmas. Although I do not observe any particular religious faith, I believe that you were sent to me as a gift. The motherly instincts I didn't imagine I had surfaced immediately; you became my reason to be. The first time I heard your heart beat, I shivered with emotion. When I saw you on the first sonogram, I cried. I was in a constant state of joy. My belly grew bigger as you grew inside me. I remember one particular night, when I was lying in bed reading; you suddenly slid your little foot across my belly. I placed my hand where I had felt you and you kicked again. We had discovered a game which we played quite often, for you were a very active baby. The more my belly grew the happier and prettier I felt.
Other than being very sleepy in the beginning and at the final months, the pregnancy itself was an easy one. Given that I was feeling good and everything seemed to be going well, your father and I asked the doctor about our chances of having a natural birth. The doctor was very supportive. He agreed that I was having a normal and healthy pregnancy and our chances of a successful natural birth were high.
Labor pain? Yes, I did think about it. I guess this issue crosses the mind of every single pregnant woman. It will probably cross yours too someday. Fear of pain. There was nothing I could do about the pain, but there was something I could do about fear and so I did. I found a HypnoBirthing coach and I followed her instructions diligently, every day, many times a day. I knew she could help me. HypnoBirthing, or Hypnosis, is nothing more than a deep state of concentration. I practiced meditation and relaxation. I repeated my affirmations (a long list of beliefs) morning, afternoon and evening. I worked on slow long deep breaths. My confidence grew stronger every single day and the fear vanished.
I was met with skepticism and disapproval from several friends and family. First, several people didn't know what hypnosis was all about and were skeptical of me trying it. Second, my birth choice caused alarm; after all, c-sections in Miami are expected by most. Miami's c-section rates are among the highest in the USA and the developed countries. Friends and family from Sao Paulo also were puzzled. C-section rates there are the highest in the world! To my disappointment, some people tried to discourage me by describing horrible birth stories; others would just say that I would never be able to withstand the pain, that I just would not be able to do it. The truth is, Luma, that I did not know. I couldn't know what the outcome would be. But I didn't get discouraged.
At this point, you must be thinking how brave and courageous your mommy is, but I wasn't. This is where you come in. During my entire life, I rarely took credit for my successes, or believed in my capabilities, and worse yet, several times I didn't stand up for myself when I should have. But in this case, I was doing it for you. Without blinking, I would do it a thousand times for you. The new me had been conceived. A world of possibilities opened up to me.
While my doctor was genuinely supportive of my birth choice, I found out too late that his practice colleagues were not as agreeable. Therefore, I decided to change doctors. Because the pregnancy was very advanced, no other practice risked taking me in. I was disappointed, of course, but still determined. So I took a leap of faith. You were already thirty-six weeks old when I left the practice.
I put you and myself into the care of Miriam, our midwife. I felt an immediate relief the minute I stepped in the Maternity Center. Miriam was nurturing, calm, and never condescending. She empathized with my situation and was willing to help me, even if that meant finding another doctor. Miriam just felt right and I stuck with her. To make matters even better, Miriam offered water births, an option that was very attractive to me. You were forty and a half weeks old, in position and very low, but still pretty comfortable inside.
To help you, I went on long walks, scrubbed the bath tub, and swam every day. Until one day my laps in the pool were interrupted by this tightening on my belly, that wouldn't stop. Calmly, I told your dad, who was swimming next lane over, that time had arrived. We went home, I took a long shower, your grandma gathered things we needed to take, and after Miriam checked my progress we all went to the Maternity Center. The ambiance of our room at the Birthing Center was perfect: it was calm, soothing music played, the lights were dimmed, and there were few candles flickering. I sat in bed and concentrated on slow long breaths and pretty soon I fell asleep. Yes, I fell asleep. When I finally woke up, the contractions were almost back to back and very intense. It was time to get into the water and just as I did I felt a difference. I was really aware of my body and you and the changes that were quickly taking place. Nonetheless, I lost notion of time. During the breaks between contractions, I relaxed so much that I would fall into a deep sleep and even have dreams. Grandma held my head while I drifted off. Your father was my link to a regular state of consciousness; he kept me hydrated; he caressed my belly. I never felt pain, except for a couple of times when I had to pipi, first, because the power of gravity outside of the water was tremendous, second, because, I couldn't concentrate on the surges and do pipi at the same time. Otherwise, things were happening as I pictured they would.
When I felt it was time I asked your dad to fetch Miriam. Your grandma had already positioned herself, my back towards her; she held my head and caressed my hair. Now your dad plunged into the water in front of me. He described the evolution of your birth, his voice trembled with ecstasy. Sometimes emotion took over him and all he could say was, "Oh, my God, Oh my God!" His happiness and pride strengthened me. Miriam was also a key person, as a HypnoBirthing coach herself, she knew when I was losing concentration and would bring me right back. We all worked together. When you were ready to come out, your dad's hands were there to hold you. Then he placed you on my chest. I never knew I could love so much. While I was holding and looking at you mesmerized, your grandma whispered in my ear, "You and your daughter were born at exactly the same hour: 4:10am." I smiled at the coincidence and thought to myself that you had given me a second chance to actually live. I was proud!
I was so proud and happy. If I had to put in just a few words what your birth experience felt like, I would say that it was the most intense physical and spiritual experience I have ever lived. Such an empowering experience still resonates. I am a different person. I live life to the fullest. I invite challenge, I face my fears, and I take advantage of opportunities. I am still human, though. Sometimes I am scared, sometimes I fail, and sometimes I make mistakes. So forgive me, because I will fail you. I will make mistakes, but I promise to always love you. I promise that I will work everyday to be a better and stronger person than I was yesterday. I promise to be a role model to you, so you can grow up as a strong, confident woman. I promise to live my dreams, because I want you to live yours.
Love always, Mom.
My story is an account of what we can do or what we can become if we truly believe in ourselves. It describes what happens when we free ourselves from outside judgment and pre-conceived beliefs. In my case, believing in me has caused a chain-reaction of self accomplishments. After birthing my daughter naturally, in the water and without pain, when many around me considered it impossible, I engaged in many other challenging activities. I started running and became a marathon runner and a triathlete. Currently I am training for a half ironman (a 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike ride, and a 13.1 run event). I also went back to school and took up art classes. I plan to flourish in the art world. Lastly, after twenty years I started writing again.
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